Sunday, September 18, 2005

Sweating Bullets

Sweating Bullets

(Music, lyrics: Mustaine)

Hello me... Meet the real me.
And my misfits way of life.
A dark black past in my most valued possession.
Hindsight is always 20-20,
But looking back it's still a bit fuzzy.
Speak of mutually assured destruction?
Nice story... Tell it to "Reader's Digest"!

Feeling paranoid
True enemy or false friend?
Anxiety's attacking me
And my air is getting thin.
I'm in trouble for the things
I haven't got to yet.
I'm chomping at the bit
And my palms are getting wet,
Sweating bullets.

Hello me... It's me again.
You can subdue, but never tame me.
It gives me a migraine headache
Thinking down to your level.
Yea, just keep thinking it's my fault
And stay an inch or two outta kicking distance.
Mankind has got to know
His limitations

Feeling claustrophobic,
Lke the walls are closing in.
Blood stains on my hands and
I don't know where I've been
I'm in trouble for the things
I haven't got to yet.
I'm sharpening the axe
And my palms are getting wet
Sweating bullets.

Well me... it's nice talking to myself,
A credit to dementia.
Someday you too will know my pain,
And smile its blacktooth grin.
If the war inside my head
Won't take a day off I'll be dead.
My icy fingers claw your back,
Here I come again.

Feeling paranoid
True enemy or false friend?
Anxiety's attacking me
And my air is getting thin
Feeling claustrophobic
Like the walls are closing in
Blood stains on my hands
And I don't know where I've been
Once you committed me
Now you've acquitted me
Claiming validity
For your stupidity
I'm chomping at the bit
I'm sharpening the axe
Here I come again, whoa!
Sweating bullets


(photograph courtesy : wildnwacky)




dont ya cry tonight

sometime life leaves you clueless.....
do you know why the world is the way it is?
do you know why you feel the way you do?
do you know why people believe what they do?
do you know why you are always expected to be the sane one when everyone else acts insane?
do you know why it is always more important to be better than someone than consider them as another equally amazing human being?
do you know why it is always expected that the one who doesnt complain has the responsibility to solve everyone's complaint?
do you know why it is that you are considered guilty unless proved otherwise?
do you know why inviting a friend for dinner becomes an insult to her?


do you know if the answers exist?


___________________________________________

Never Explain....
Your friends dont need it.
your enemies wont believe it.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

night at the titanic....

One of the most beautiful nights I am experiencing at IIM Lucknow.
Its four am in the morning and I am sitting alone at the Titanic(for the uninitiated....the terrace shared by hostels 9 and 10) with my laptop and my favorite music. The breeze is amazing; the stars are unbelieving and it’s me sitting under them feeling lucky to be experiencing this. God bless my dad, that I could afford this comp. Would’ve been a perfect night if only all the work and assignments and studies pending for the exams weren’t weighing down on me.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Breathing on my own


Breathe again
I'm living on your air tonight
Never knowing when you'll cut me off.
Oh you have a way
That makes it hard to sleep alone.
And just when the dream gets good
You always seem to have to go.

So...
Here I am alone again
Waiting for the story to finally end.

While the world Spins around
It's out of my hands.
Don't even try to understand.
And I guess it's time to tell you
What you should already know.

Oh you know
I'm better breathing on my own.
All alone.


- Majandra Delfino

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Why ?

why cant i ever understand, people dont care what i do and nothing that i do can ever be good enough for them......
what ! you tellin me i am wrong.....
consider the following conversation i had with someone whom i respect so very much.....
no points for guessing who is who....


a : it was a good dinner, isnt it ?
b : yeah.... wouldve been better with better music..
a : yeah...
b : which reminds me....i pulled some strings and i got you those songs you were looking for...
a : but i already have all of them, you could not have...its impossible.
b : no but i heard you complain a few times that you were looking for those songs, so i got them.
a : No ! i have everything that is worth listening to. rest anything that you have is shit
b : But how would you know that before.......
a : has to be shit !


15 minutes later.........

a : why are you not smiling....
b : because im angry
a : why, what did i do....
b : i dont wanna talk bout it.... anyways anything i do i never gonna be better than if you did it
a : youre a bitch....

( ofcourse, parts are edited to preserve anonymity (yeah, right!) and the second conversation is actually a combo of two..... but you get my point.......)

Saturday, September 10, 2005

less talk bout the blog.....

It is beautiful........it makes me feel good to be alive.....

I dont know why people say that looking at a sky full of stars makes them feel insignificant... to me its one of the biggest high. The skies of lucknow have never been as radient as in the past few days. its lit up, millions of stars, so bright and so close, you feel you can just pick them up in your palm....

Was standing in the middle of the football field last night. Its impossible to describe how overwhelmed i felt. It made me feel alive, being able to witness huge masses of dust and gases as they were a million or more years ago !! They were so clearly visible i could see the haze formed by too many stars clustered at the same point. Was it the haze of the other end of our akashganga, dont think i know.

Under the same sky, someone was trying to explain it to me what Vincent as a song meant. How it is about Vincent Van Gough , his paintings and his life. Now that i love the song so much, i think he was surprised that i didnt know anything about the background of the song. What he did not know that for me Vincent or Starry Starry Night as i like to call it is My song. For me its not about someone else. Its the most honest song ever written and performed just for me. It is to me that Don Mclean is saying that the world doesnt get you. Have you ever felt the same ? Or am i the only one who finds messages for her in songs......

Or do you also wipe your tears when Axl tell you not to cry tonight.......

Friday, September 02, 2005

do you believe this?

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate bar in one hand, favorite beverage in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, screaming Woo-Hoo ! What A Ride !

----------------------------------------------- */